To be completely honest, I don’t feel very good with my performance this past week. I did not finish some big tasks due to disruptions of my work, which led me to try to handle my stress by fruitless binge-watching and playing games. My anxieties were terrible.
On the other hand, I do feel like this is just me being hard on myself. So I started my weekly review by remembering some positive things that happend last week.
To my surprise, there is quite a number of good things that happened and so I have to ask: why do I feel bad? Here are some ideas.
First, I missed much of my work days because I got sick and was scheduled to be vaccinated as well. Missing the meetings and work tasks tend to cause me great anxiety. But looking back now, it is easy to see that I have had a legitimate reason to miss work and that I should not worry because of these.
Second, having my one-on-one meeting with my manager last week also had a positive feeling that my performance and role in the team is well, but I guess it also brought up some points on things I could have done better… which now I realize is also a good thing.
Third, I also missed some requirements in a side-hustle, but I now realize it is also because of coordination problems amongst the client and the team.
Having time to process this is good because now I am aware of what may cause me stress and anxiety, and hopefully will get better in handling them.
I am thankful that this experiences makes me grow and that I am able to process this all.